session 15 . video

[chaotica]

[ Broadcasting from the Infirmary, as usual, wearing his Starfleet uniform (somewhat wrinkled), boots up on a table, chair leaned back. ]

I have always wondered why people start games of Twenty Questions with questions about breadboxes. "Is it bigger than a breadbox?" "Is it smaller than a breadbox?" What is it about breadboxes? Are they, somehow, the perfectly average object?

How many of you have even seen a breadbox?

Furthermore, the game of "Rock, Paper, Scissors" is trivially easy for the observant. An inexperienced player assumes that each successive throw is random. In fact, it's more of a human simulation of randomness, which is far more regular and far more predictable. That's also why effective encryption is as randomized as possible.

But that's not what I mean to talk about today.

Today, I'd like to talk about sex. Specifically, why you should not be ashamed or embarrassed to be having it.

Sex is wonderful. It is life-affirming, it enhances intimacy, and it releases floods of positive endorphins. It's healthy activity, and infinitely better for the body and the heart than doing violence. And it provides these benefits no matter whether your partner is same or opposite sex - I feel the need to mention this, given the backwards attitudes in some of your home worlds.

Sex should be safe. Protect yourself from disease and from unwanted pregnancy, and yes, there are materials for both of those available in the infirmary. Sex should involve communication and respect. No one should ever be coerced into doing something they don't want to do, least of all in such an area of sensitivity and intimacy.

In addition, as the only doctor and warden available on the ship, I am available to answer questions, and to test possible compatibility issues between species'.

And yes, I know, I'm treating the lot of you like idiots, but there are teenagers on board. Notoriously hormone-addled, as a group.

Cambridge out.

Comments

[routemistress]

No, I'd be pretty confident you don't, sweetheart. It's more about getting you both into good 'abits, if you see what I mean.

[maced_eggs]

Iris, I don't like people getting in my business. I'm a grown fuckin' man, aren't I? Older'n most.

[routemistress]

[See Iris. See Iris biting her tongue.]

'Course you are, lovey. But it's a small boat and getting in each other's business sort of comes with the territory, doesn't it? It's done out of love, you know that.

[maced_eggs]

I'm not sleeping with anyone else, now am I? Not bloody Typhoid Mary.

God, she was a regular, wasn't she?

[chaotica]

Iris is also a bit of a busybody.

[maced_eggs]

Are my manly bits really much of her business, is what I'm saying? 'less I consent to sleep with anyone she's bedding down with.

[routemistress]

Glass 'ouses, Dr Cambridge. Glass bleedin' 'ouses.

'E's right though. I am leaving your bits strictly alone from 'ere on in, Mason.

[maced_eggs]

I'd appreciate it if you did.

[tucky]

You gonna stop having sex with me 'cause I brought this on?

By accident. I brought it on by accident. I did tell them not to bug you about tests.

[maced_eggs]

No I am not going to stop with the sex. But it will be a cold, cold day before I let Cambridge poke aroun' my man parts.

[tucky]

Yeah, I know. That's what I told him and everyone else.

[maced_eggs]

Everyone else?

[tucky]

Well, like, Iris and David Cain and people like that. They was like, "If he respects you he will get tested for STDs!" and I was like, "I don't think that's important at all in this case, and it's also pretty fucking rude to tell someone they have to get tested, so I don't want to do it!"

[maced_eggs]

...Bugger me.

[tucky]

It ain't my fault, all right? They're wardens; they kind of jumped on it.

[maced_eggs]

They haven't said you ought to break it off with me yet, have they?

[tucky]

No. Why, you think they will?

[That's actually a worrying idea to her-- she gets along very well here by listening to and obeying wardens. She's never outright defied one, only found sneaky ways to get around their rules.]

[maced_eggs]

I think they'll say you're too good for me.

[tucky]

Yeah, but that's bullshit, though. You really think they would?

[maced_eggs]

'Course they would. They don't have patience for me. They fuckin' hate me.

[tucky]

Like everyone I've talked to about you said they liked you, though. Why the hell do you think everyone hates you?

[maced_eggs]

I get yelled at quite a lot.

[bodilesswarrior]

[Her tone is frank, but not venomous.] You are one of the most frustrating people I have ever met.

But you're not cruel, or vicious. You don't use or abuse people. Generally, the person you hurt most is yourself - and frankly, there's a lot of that to go around. And I can see you getting better.

You've still got a lot to learn, but so does Tiffany. I figure learning together can only be a good thing.

[maced_eggs]

Darling, that is wonderful for you to say, but I do not particularly like to be judged, nor do I like my relationships with girls given the voting treatment.

[bodilesswarrior]

If you don't want to be judged you should fuck up less.

[Oops. A slight grimace.] Sorry. You're right - none of us get a vote, and none of us should. I'm just saying I'm not going to try.