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session 13 . video
[ Here is Cambridge, seated at his desk, if the word 'seated' includes sprawled with feet up and uniform jacket open, revealing blue turtleneck underneath. He looks very comfortable. He may also have a glass of Scotch. ]
I'd like to conduct a survey. Call it personal patient satisfaction, if you think it's annoying.
Ready?
Now: Pick three adjectives to describe me. Support your choices with evidence and/or reasoning.
Thank you very much.
[ Cheers. He takes an apparently very satisfying sip of Scotch, letting out a little ah after. ]
I'd like to conduct a survey. Call it personal patient satisfaction, if you think it's annoying.
Ready?
Now: Pick three adjectives to describe me. Support your choices with evidence and/or reasoning.
Thank you very much.
[ Cheers. He takes an apparently very satisfying sip of Scotch, letting out a little ah after. ]
[spam]
She is doing exactly that, but she's doing it as a calming technique: she visualises all the nerve clusters and the balance points where one can break a bone with its own physics, and then she moves again, exquisitely gentle.]
Which is exactly the problem I've come to you with, Dr Cambridge. It's an 'abit I know I need to break, at least with them two. I were 'oping you might 'ave some suggestions.
[Her voice is sweet and light, and has razor blades in it.]
[spam]
You just said you know you need to break it. Does that mean you really want to? [ The question is more serious.
He suspects the answer is mixed, yes and no. ]
[spam]
I really want to not 'urt people I love that way again. It's a dirty sort of 'abit, throwing meself on grenades for kicks. It does feel good. It does what I need it to. I just... I really don't want to make Cain and Babs feel that way again.
[In other words, a mixed yes and no.]
[spam]
[ He has a fair idea of what he's facing, but he wants her to bring it out between them. ]
[spam]
[That question takes her aback, and she spends some moments considering it while she works the muscles either side of Cambridge's spine, the nerve clusters around his hipbones.]
...that's a trick question, really. It's not about benefit. I'm not thinking longterm when I pull a stunt like that, I'm not trying to do the right thing. It's like gnawing your leg off to get out of a trap; it sorts the immediate problem out in a big rush of pain and adrenaline and blood.
[And then she snorts softly in rather humourless laughter.]
'Course, you still 'ave a limb missing after, but that's a different problem. They do say a change is as good as a rest.
[spam]
[spam]
And I can't keep it up, I can't. I thought for sure Cain were going to tell me to get stuffed and I wouldn't've blamed 'im. I need to remember this - months or years down the line, next time all the little horrors build up enough to that point. I need to remember about them consequences, Dr Cambridge, and I've got zero practise living that way.
[spam]
[spam]
It's not worth losing 'im for, though. Him or Babs. It's not worth hurting 'em.
[spam]
Iris, does a part of you worry that they diminish you? Or, rather, that you must diminish yourself to be with them?
[spam]
[Her hands tighten and still their motion, as Iris catches herself. She still wants to say no, but she's very aware that there is a lot more of her than there is of any human. Any two humans.]
I don't think so. Babs especially; I want to sit at 'er feet. I generally feel like she's too good for me. Like I'm graced that she even noticed me. And Cain - I've never been with anyone I fitted so well, anyone that understood me as much as 'e does.
You know what, though? That's exactly what most timelords'd say. That you can't 'ave a really equal relationship with someone that only 'as one life. That only lives in three dimensions with five senses. That there's no way to bridge that gap and I'm lowering meself for trying.
I don't think I believe that, Dr Cambridge. It's possible bits of me believe it without telling me, mind you.